I pursue a woman, my ex-wife. She is my favorite woman, also my interview with the most sorry people
Time: May 2, 2008 Interview Location: Beijing Kerry Center
Kim Yu, M, 48-year-old from Beijing. University graduate, worked in state organs, after the business is now a professional manager.
Kim Yu readme: Only you can give me such a life, and only I can give you
I would like to say something, thought about many times in my heart every day, in thinking about it. my age is not suitable for high-profile talk in the newspapers, so you do not understand as I am about to tell. I The goal is to pursue the woman I am now able to see what I was thinking.
I pursue a woman, my ex-wife. She is my favorite woman, who is also my most sorry.
I 34 years old to know her, when she was young, 10 years younger than I am a college graduate for two years. then I was a boy's father, Oscar-winning friend left me and married a lot older than her man . that person than I have money. I left a child, which is her hope, she will not take the kids is not easy to feel like to remarry. the introduction to this person here, my wife would like to say is My second wife, not her. my first experience of divorce prompted me to finally gave up the work of state organs, and several friends formed a small company, in 1994, trade has done a good job we do.
It was then that I met her. She no love experience, is very simple, very light. well educated. when we first felt when I had to get along. a very important point, is her little concept about money mm After that experience with my divorce, you will value this, I will not fly away to find a person to follow the RMB.
costs a lot of twists and turns, we got married. very difficult to persuade her parents, after all, I'm better than her much larger, as well as children. Her parents visit for a long time before they accepted me.
her son is very good to me, beyond my expectations. So, later she and I divorced, my son felt very sorry that he lost a favorite person, a great friend.
long story short, that these are to tell you that we did really well, very satisfied with each other. If she is more mature, I can be patient and wait for her to help her mature and grow , we would not have today, we will be very happy, I will now be the father of her child. Unfortunately, these only if.
us badly, is the sixth year of marriage. when I have friends from out by companies from a partnership, with his own company. She also changed jobs, full time to do translation, often working from home. take care of their own company busy, entertainment is also a lot of attention to her less and less, on the contrary, she more and more of my concern. probably because she did not pressure, leisure time, and I used to be a particularly capricious. At that time she often entangled me, probably because it is very lonely. her trouble, trouble always told me that I ignored her and said I did not love her more and more, and eventually developed into the special nervous that I was having an affair.
I am particularly bothered by that time to know the trouble, do not know her like this and I may be doing a good job For, she is like this because she cares about me and our marriage, then do not understand these to know that she changed and became very annoying, blind to blame her.
In this mood, the two people too bad this time, also the most prone to a third party. I met another woman. This man is my peer, divorced, years older than my wife at the time appear to be particularly sensible. I found that we Some common language, distance getting closer. I change this person's relationship, there is a business trip. that I had ex-wife will not let me go, she met the man, saying that a fox at a glance, seemingly sincere, real chicken thief. My instinct is she all right looking at the thing, do not listen to. In fact she feels is right, then I confirmed this, but paid a terrible price. day I do not get up the morning, she sat in the living room sofa, crying, saying I am not a business, is out to fool around with others. I just sick of it, simply pay any attention to her, and dragged the box to escape.
that is Changsha. That night she kept giving me a call, I had hit on a hand organ. The man pulled me to the bar, and her customers. my heart is not happy, drinking did not moderate, the results were drunk. Later this kind of thing vulgar, who can imagine. I woke up and found the man around there. I was a vulgar person, it is shameful, I thought, is not every day that I was having an affair? This back into the real thing ! I do not want to shirk its responsibility, the temptation to say who I am, not, is my voluntary, that morning I woke up from the start that I take the initiative to betray my family and love, I wanted to get her bound to me, I can not stand the torture of her nervous, and I want to have a mature woman can take care of me, comfort me, and I do not want to go to serve a grow up, always vexatious little girl anymore!
returned to Beijing, I and this person into the For this reason there will not be having an affair, did not think you are so shameful! she was right, when I was very disgraceful, I would order the women out to hurt his wife.
my affair soon brought to light, is because she was sensitive, but also because I'm obsessed. Objectively speaking, I was very committed to that person, in retrospect, largely because she was too will take care of people, not just life, more importantly, mentally, she let I am very relaxed, nothing like his ex-wife, as I always want to control. Now I want to say a word, is to repeat what I said to the men that year, do not think his wife's lover who will not have weaknesses, it is temporary, Valentine became the wife, etc., than my wife was not as good as hh but I just think a good lover, I even felt I had to find such a simple girl was a mistake, in fact, should find a mature woman, both in spirit as or in life can be relatively well off.
the most ridiculous thing I have done is to give Valentine's to buy a house, I thought that we both had each other in which the old life, is really funny. our sales offices , signed a contract. when the people say, write your name, after the event that we two poor, and will not damage too much, anyway, I find you, is to find the person I want, but do not know how you hh I was tragic to put her arm around, stroke of a pen on the whole to her. it turned out we were among the first to feel that special kind of stubborn people, is the real literary youth, love romance story, the eyes do not rub the sand. She did not confirm my channel having an affair, so there is no thought of divorce. But I want a divorce, ah, I am more and that person go near, the more unwilling to go home, the more do not go home, the more vicious her irritating. At that time she was really very painful, she said, Kim Yu, you have an affair, you do not say you do not, do not said I slandered you, I'm your wife, how do you like me know. I sometimes come home late at night, she did not sleep, sit in the living drink, I go home every night, she drank that time she drinking wine at home for all, and add up to more than 20 bottles of fear is hh I know I am particularly wicked, then we know that later, when we meet again, I feel it more when I was too wicked, and a sense said her today that I caused, I destroyed the happiness of her life. but then my heart Zhenhen, I say you trouble it, the more so the more I hate you, I want to leave you, not for the affair, because I can not stand you. I'm shameless, I reckon, is not it? I think so too.
I was deliberately, one morning, I deliberately forgotten to buy a house in those documents desk, and went to work. morning at ten o'clock, she went to my office. She put the portfolio on my table, said Kim Yu, divorce it, marry you when I told you, If I know you have someone else, would not more to this marriage for a minute, now I know, you go. I was suddenly he felt as though there is something to sink a bit, saying that not be an easy or hard, a little regret, but also a little sense of relief. I later recalled this period, but also thought I was pained her? I can not remember, it should be is not, how much time I have not seen anything. I said, you back home bar, we go home and say. I say this, she wept, she said, Kim Yu, I have no family from a hh
2001, we divorced, I left her house, to the her some money, if not extravagant to spend, but also to maintain a 2035, and I do not want to Tai Weiqu her life. I moved to buy a new house and started living together with that person. This is not the main I have to say content, to tell you all about it. From the beginning we live together, conflicts, more and more, we get rid of after the affair became openly, not all the same, I soon felt, in fact, I do not know her, her life far more complex than my ex-wife.
2004 summer, we broke up, she became the lover of Singaporeans, was I found. and I found, she was selling the house has been a good sign contract, ready to go. everything up so suddenly become reality, I was faced with no place to live, to be swept out. I found it really funny, really deserve it, damn is retribution, but I still ask, you Why? She said she is not want me to divorce, she hated the man to divorce an affair of her own because her husband was having an affair abandoned, she thinks a man to a woman outside the statement issued by his wife even can damage This man is absolutely not a good thing. I found it really funny, a lover of people to others, actually come with me to discuss ethical issues. I say, I'm not for you just divorce? she laughed and said, I can not you divorce, I think we two as fine as before, I did not want to get married. now live together, but very tired, I have not suited to marriage life.
now saying to the children on , entanglement does not mean. I rented a house, moved out, she soon went abroad. I think this is my reward. I hurt my ex-wife, and now deserves to be dumped.
really start a life I found the person I most miss is my ex-wife. I say you do not scold me, I speak the truth. Then I realized that she was really on me, but really is unconditional . One day I pick up the drawer and saw a bunch of keys, it is the key to our previous house, I was feeling very complicated. I took the key and left and drove back to our original home. I look to opened the door, the room is still the same, all the furniture did not move, even quilt in bed are still the original kitchen of the coffee pot there is the rest of the coffee. It appears she was living here, but not often at home . I was really filled with emotion, if I had not derailed, and we may now be living a very quiet life. and she has not changed the lock, Does she not know that I still have the key to you?
day I sat in the living room while What did not move, locked the door and left. From this day, I started very curious about her life, I want to know how was she, who met, people good or bad for her. I even worry about, she I used to be like that, and can adapt to other people? If people bully her, how do? one thought of this, my heart is particularly uncomfortable.
but I had not the courage to call her, she hated the people I know is me, I hate her for all she does.
2007 summer, I happened to run into the original neighborhood, the man did not say a few words on the side-tracked by my ex-wife, she said, she moved back to live with a child, I heard a divorce. I do not know how to describe my feelings, said the sky fallen a little in front of me will not be excessive.
That afternoon, I went to. or holding a set of keys, but I the key does not work, and the face is a thick iron gate, newly installed. door is a cardboard box, which stood two empty milk pail. I want to knock on the door, but want not to say What I do not know how to face her. to then stand there until you hear a keychain Raining Cats and ringing, I quickly ran to the elevator. I went downstairs, the security guard hiding behind the pavilion, I think secretly to see her. After a child, she came out, pushing a stroller thin, the car sat a little girl, about two years old look. through my eyes she is very dedicated to pushing the child. I was too uncomfortable day, really too bad. my ex-wife was not a beautiful woman, but she belongs to the people looked very lively, the skin has always been very, very good when we parted, she was very emaciated, but certainly not old, But now this woman, completely changed, to the letter is a middle-aged women like a.
day I drove aimlessly wandering in the streets for a long time, finally, I stopped at the near a road, give us a mutual friend telephoned, that was a lawyer, I think if she really divorced, the lawyers will find a friend. I began to ask my ex-wife is not divorced. my buddy children were stunned and said, you do not know ah? children less than one year old to leave, the person now married, my wife is pregnant again. from lawyers here, I know some of my ex-wife's experience. do not know better, this one know, I think this is my sin made.
simply say, after our divorce, she had more than six months, others for later introduced her husband, the man has a printing plant, business is good , divorced once, no children, only child. It is said that the man was chasing my wife spent a lot of effort, but so do catch up, things turn out, especially her pregnant, they are getting worse. lawyer told me that my ex-wife is not very easy, when you were pregnant, this guy took her to see the child's gender Trustee, I saw a girl, forcing her to give up, said that if no son to never users, and no one inherits the family property. At that time seems to have six children, she steadfastly refused to return to her family. The last two people reach an agreement, a child born to a divorce agreement.
I took the phone, just like listening to a sad story, the hero is I loved the woman that year. I shouted, saying that this son of a bitch the rest of my life is absolutely permanent household, how did it?! lawyer listen to me say to silent, long time before that, in fact, are causing you, if you do not divorce, she did not so tragic, she married this man is simply wrong hh is a person with children, by when the translation was not living hh
went home, I could not sleep, drink, Yue Heyue sad When we are together, the immediate thing, I drink to cry. middle of the night, I called the lawyer woke, I said, I want to marry her and father her children. He said, you want good, to re-catch her, she told you, there are feelings, I know.
next afternoon, I went. really standing in the door, do not know how to do. I stood for a long time, but also key voice heard, and I stood still. The door opened, she, carrying a bag of garbage. She saw me shocked, Zhang mouth, did not say so, tears fall. I took that string key gestures, and said, my keys, regardless of use of the hh she said nothing, went from me to throw rubbish. I do not know with her or the door, with a few steps back, or standing at the door. She came back and looked at me. I can not stand, she did not speak, then not stop the tears to flow, not rub. I reached out and wanted to rub her, she ducked. do not talk about that now, said later. I followed her inside, she did not let me go in my Sipilailian with her daughter in there called the old way, that is, the original study into a nanny room, children's toys at home more, baby carriages, small clothes, the kind of special flavor hh child our original bedroom, now replaced by a larger bed, she dresser did not, and more computer desk, piled mess of her books and the information mm lawyer told me that she no money, take the kids apart, to the translation company to do some odd jobs, sometimes a company needs Conference interpreting, she also went to the children and nanny to her mother watching. that money is counted by the hour, the income is better, but such opportunities are not always able to meet.
day Coincidentally, children are not comfortable She ignored me, the children take their medicine. I look at her from the side, and my heart feel particularly complex. She is a good mother, certainly, her facial expressions and just told me completely different when she looked at the child, Special soft lines of his face. my eyes wet, I remember that when she told me, Kim Yu that you and a child, I like the girl, her looks will be very pretty. But now hh
child some medicine her children to the sitter, turned to ask me to do what? I said, I'll see you. She laughed a little, especially ugly, especially contemptuous laugh, she said, and this time you see, I became a single mother, my daughter was born by her father never gave up, and you now happy, I finally leave you thoroughly bad luck. You read to go, we are particularly busy. I know she hates me, but , that moment I suddenly feel a little quiet, she did not change, even talk to me have not changed the attitude, just good strong.
I did not say anything directly into the kitchen, that I am very familiar, almost everything is old. Then I said, I go, for a while back. I went to the market and bought some fish and shrimp, bought her favorite vegetables, fruits, and then I came back. She did not come out, nanny to the I opened the door, said the nurse, Sister said, you still go. I said I give you to do something to eat, do a good job and leave. nanny and could only let me.
got into the kitchen busy with cooking, there is a moment I think I go home. that moment even the illusion of happiness, we imagine a good wife, she took the children playing in the room, I thought of cooking to give them to eat hh These my eyes and wet, I could have personally destroyed every day with happiness, now we are not our past. I do the dishes, but this process has always been to her. She did not like before Whenever I cook, she stood in the kitchen to chat with me on the door, she was a talkative person, and now has become particularly silent. I do peel shrimp, chopped mud, packed in a small bowl , the end to the living room table, I said, it is given to children, bibimbap eat. She does not look at me, watching the children play on the couch, nurse stood up to hold rice. she did not speak, I Also see the tears streaming down her.
nurse greeted me, Big Brother also eat together. I said I do not eat on the morrow, when you eat. She did not like me, I go, do not look at me , did not speak. I gave the nanny a business card, I said, if there is a child thing, feel free to call me, leave a few, I drove over.
out from there, I went to my office buddy of children . I told him the whole process, and lawyers hear straight upset, say you commit a sin ah! he asked me, you do not care about her birth to a child with someone else? you can for her children? If you hurt her again She no way out. I said I could, I do not care, she did not kids with a few relationships in life, as long as she wants, I'll take both. lawyer said, what are you and why? is not to sin? I said no, Maybe I love her. And the two of us, as now, and are related to someone else done had a baby. is this? This is not nothing, she did not did not hold anything against my son? lawyer told me that you work with the really successful, I give you manage the wedding, which is the section of stories, you make me believe in love are!
you think I'm smart? a meal from start to arouse the memories of her past, to re-enter her life. I tell you I did not move a little brain, useless calculating the time, I just wanted to give her a good meal to eat.
next day I went to their cooking. nurse, said brother you are not come, that does not let you come to a big sister. I said all right, the meal went well, I do not eat. the result was the same the day before. The only difference is that her daughter in a good mood, call me much I want you to eat a little. She says you are crazy, I do not have any relationship with you, I was someone else's ex-wife, mother of others. I say no you are my ex-wife, whether you marry later . She began to rage, and she said you up from my house to get out, you are not eligible here. I said, I know you hate me, now I know I'm sorry for you, I want to correct errors. She burst into tears, she said, What makes you? you want to correct the error, did you hesitate to go, you thought you were not wrong? and then being dumped you, you find that you are wrong, you're back to apologize, I do not need you If it had not been cast off, and now will think you're wrong? I say nothing, because she said is right, if that person did not leave me, how much time I will think of her? people like this, this one o'clock was then.
I stood to speak. She walked over to turn the gas off, ask me in the end to do? I do not know where to come to the courage, I said, I want to re-marry you, to talk about Love is required. her out of the kitchen, suddenly opened the door and said, you can now get out! Do not make me, you come back, I call the police!
I was thus bombers out. I've been to, how to knock on the door , no one open.
so, after a more than two months turning point came. One night, I received a nanny, and she said, brother, children with high fever, can you come? we can not get a rental hh I used the car less than a quarter of an hour arrived, she saw me, as if suddenly saved, but immediately conceal. That day I had to accompany them to a night at the Children's Hospital, children infusion, I'll stay. She let I go, I'm not going to wait to send you home. She did not say anything. then I send them home, I said I do not go in, you up to sleep in the afternoon and then I'll take you to the hospital transfusion . She did not refuse.
child is sick good, it is necessary for the New Year. I'll call her, the Spring Festival like? she said, they want to return to her family lived for some time. then, you do not come.
I am on a business trip after the Spring Festival, a walk and ate. back to Beijing first thing to look for her, locked out of the results. nanny gave me a letter saying that big sister said, can no longer let you in. the.
lot of phone calls I called her, sometimes she does not take, and sometimes picked up and also told me that she is busy, let me say much more. few days ago, she might think I was too annoying, and finally with I chatted for a while, she asked me why in the end you come back? I said, I know I do not deserve, but if not derailed part, I do not know what I really want to live, who I really want whom I should have destroyed the happiness we had, and now I want to rebuild. she hear me, silent for a moment, she said, now, I have children, you thought of this? I said I would like to After, I will treat this child, she is innocent, since she did not love her biological father, I am willing to take care of her responsibilities. I think she might be crying, she said, can you tell me what you want What is life? I said, I hope that one day we're both old, also hand in hand, even if only a cup of tea, and also one half of the drinking hh I said quietly, and only you, give me life, and only I can give you.
I really think so, I wish I could do to convince her.
Interview Notes: Let the starting point of a destination, it will not be very happy ?
Kim Yu before the interview, I told him the story of a basic understanding of the background, had already moved some mm remarried heard many stories like this to pursue remarried and divorced again and become a single mother's ex-wife of a man , is the first time to meet. I admire his courage, his ex-wife not only accepted the historical section of remarriage, but also gave birth to other people accept her and the children. I bluntly said in the phone: Your identity is much more complex. a daughter. hope they can still work together, so this has become a destination point.
I also asked Kim Yu, is not a sin because they are so hot pursuit of the enemy. He is not saying yes. yes, it is because he ex-wife from the deep heart of all that is unhappy due to his infidelity, and if he can be faithful in marriage to keep their promise to their own practice, his experience was not all love; not, it is because he firmly believes that , knowledge of sin and redemption are two different things, knowledge of sin is the beginning of consciousness, atonement to personally, if not love, redemption would be very difficult way to go, will go elsewhere. if a certain ex-wife to say he was in the atonement, he willing to admit that the premise is in love.
I asked Kim Yu describes his longing for what life is like, he thought for a moment, give me a story. there is a thief, to steal something in the New Year's Eve. from looking into a window, is a couple in a row, complain about dinner not rich; from the second window to see into the men drinking in silence, a woman in the side to sleep; from the window to see into the third, a pair of old people sitting face to face the edge of the table eating, eat while humility with each other, vaguely heard them in urging people to drink, one that you eat a piece of fat in it, very fragrant, and the other said that the thief thin hh you thought, this is rich , meat and drink it, to steal something of his house, there must be harvested. thief patience to wait until the old couple go to bed before touching the house. thief saw something on the table to eat the rest, the original, the wine is rice soup, fat and thin Red and white meat are the heart of the baked sweet potatoes. thieves are sad, if poor, life can be passed so impressive, why the thief ah?!
Kim Yu said he did not know before talking about this story, Now, he understood. appreciate such a simple truth, it took 14 years.
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